thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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