WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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