I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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