you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I didn't notice because vodka
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
