mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
