I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
