So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize