I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
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