you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
