So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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