You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
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Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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