Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm experimenting with sincerity
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
