I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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