Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
