We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
My vagina just clenched in fear
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