Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
