my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize