I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
It's official drugs can't kill me
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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