Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
