I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
