I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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