I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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