the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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