someone owes me an orgasm
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
