dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
