took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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