question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
