just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
