should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
