Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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