I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Boobs are out for the taking
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
