Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
