From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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