That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
