watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
