she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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