i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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