You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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