The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
