Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
