and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize