So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
