You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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