man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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