Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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