I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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