She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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