its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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