is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
