so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
