He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
