The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
