but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
