two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize