Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
